Look closely...the T-shirt says, "Do you need help? Call Jesus. 1800-2-Knees-On-The-Ground. I'll be answering you. Jeremiah 33

This was a Christmas gift from my cleaning ladies. Very kind thought. What does it mean??

The Holiday Crush

Its that time of year! Stay-at-Home Moms everywhere are overworked and aching for a break.  Just this week alone, I have 6 Christmas Holiday parties, 2 morning coffees and 3 charitible organizations to buy for/give to. I am reading Frosty the Snowman to 18  9-year-olds on Wednesday and bringing pretzels to a party for 18  11-year-olds on Thursday.  Plus, I haven't even sent my holiday cards, or bought and wrapped all the presents. And guess what - we don't even have a Christmas tree yet and its December 15th! The horror!!!  Some of my neighbors had Christmas trees set up and decorated before Thanksgiving this year!

Were the holidays always this stressful? I remember my mother running around and decorating but it just seems like there was more time then. We made ornaments out of felt. We took time to bake cookies. I don't remember her yelling until she was hoarse because 'SHE NEEDED TO GET TO TARGET RIGHT NOW AND EVERYONE GET IN THE CAR! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE WEARING SHOES! HURRRRRY!'  Nope, didn't happen.

I seem to be getting yelled at, a lot more than the normal yelling, while I drive lately, too. Lots of times I don't even think I am doing anything really wrong but boy do I make the other driver MAD.  A driver held up his cell phone to a friend of mine once, while she was driving, mocking the talking with his hand.   She called me on my cell right away to let me know.

If you are a student of humanity like I am, you have probably studied people's faces in the mall, and you have probably concluded, like I do, that people are not content during the Holiday crush. Don't even TRY to ask for help in a retail store right now. You will get the, 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?' look.   Luckily, in the mall, you can always take your anger out on the aggressive Kiosk sales people. Can you imagine the unfriendliness that they are exposed to on a daily basis and especially during the 2 weeks before and after Christmas the holidays. I guess that is why they make the big bucks!  Even I can't force myself to be nice when a Kiosk salesperson asks me to make my hair straighter or to smoke a fake cigarette or clip on some fake hair. And just what is the white stuff that they trying to rub on my hand? So I just screw my face up really mean and say, 'NO THANK YOU'...then I give them a little apologetic smile and say, 'Sorry, its just this crazy holiday schedule that I am on.  Its making me a little impatient. OK, I will try that. Ooo it smells good. Thank you. How much is that??'

Happy Holidays!

Precious Life

When I was fishtailing in my car towards what could have been my ultimate demise, the craziest thoughts popped into my head. What disturbed me most as the black ice took my Ford hostage,  spinning it around in circles and rushing it towards a tree, was that I was not wearing any underwear. What would the paramedics think when they pulled me out with the 'jaws of life' and had to cut off my rust corduroys stuck to my bloody legs.

"Hey Buddy, Check this out..." "Whoa - no undies...huh?!"

Since I had a cup of steaming coffee in my right hand, I steered unsuccessfully with the left. As the car slid sideways into the woods, I finally threw the coffee and mug to the floor with a shriek and covered my head with both hands.  At this point, my thoughts were glued to my mortality. For the past three weeks, I had been made aware of many family members who had various stages of cancer or cancer scares. They all were facing the end of their life in one way or another.  It struck me how ironic it was that within minutes, I could be dead. There would be no forewarning. My family would get a phone call from the local police. All of this worry and consternation and preparation for everyone else and in 2 minutes my precious life could be done.

I wasn't done yet. I thought of my babies at home, where they would be when they found out. Who would tell them?  Would they tell them I wasn't wearing any underwear?

With a jolt, the car stopped. I looked up at a bunch of twigs looming above me. I patted my legs, still there. Not broken. I looked at the front of the car. It was wedged between 2 trees. Other than being stuck, and a few dings and dents, the car was fine. With a shaky hand, I grabbed for my cell phone, waving onlookers by me. 'Nothing to see here'.  Still here. Still alive.